Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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