Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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