Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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