party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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