You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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