I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
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