that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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