the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize