What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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