Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
