We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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