So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
