Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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