What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
