she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
