Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize