I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
