How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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