I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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