dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
