You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
