I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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