I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
