I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
