It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize