i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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