If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
what is it with giant penises always finding me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize