Your tits are I can't wait for
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
