he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
