Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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