God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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