Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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