His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
