Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
