Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
