dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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