Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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