I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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