His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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