I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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