I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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