What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
