My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
