we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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