The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
