I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
