you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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