I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
