Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
