Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Two words: blizzard sex
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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