I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
