You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
