So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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