It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
