i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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