Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Found your dick twin last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
