My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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