I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
