We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
