just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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