well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
